2023 The Story so far….

People say to Simon and I ‘you must be so pleased when everyone leaves’.  We smile, but we know we won’t be. We miss everyone within about 24 hours of people going. The last Saturday in August, we know we are going to go from a massive high and a buzzing gite complex with kids’ laughter ringing out and squeals of delight coming from the pool area to an eerily quiet place.  We obviously have some arrivals, and they are great, but we go from maybe 40/50 guests to maybe 8/1o; 60 galettes and crepes being cooked to 10; 45 burgers to 7! We go from running around like headless chickens to twiddling our thumbs overnight.

The age of the kids dramatically drops (along with the age of the parents) and early nights and early morning for our families are back on the agenda.  Gone are the kids staying up til 10pm and sleeping in til 10am. Gone are the games of rounders, the ping pong tournaments and the football matches.  Don’t get me wrong, we love having the little ones back again and to be honest Simon and I would find it difficult to carry on the pace of July and August for much longer, but it is just such a shock.  Happens every year, we know it is coming, we try to prepare and convince ourselves that we will enjoy the peace and quiet but we are never ready. So this year, in order to stop me twiddling my thumbs I thought I would write a blog on our season so far…. we aren’t closed; just have a lot less people.  We are going to stay open until the New Year.

So firstly in 2023 we continued to try and be more environmentally friendly. We had a new eco friendly heater fitted in the little pool, the little pool now being over 30 degrees most of the season.  We changed radiators to new eco friendly ones, we no longer have any non LED lightbulbs around the place.  We have nearly 200 lightbulbs so this is no mean feet.  We have better processes for electric cars, our recycling got a revamp, eco friendly washing machines and tumble dryers, Molton Brown refilliable toiletries and a new recycling system for the Tassimo capsules. The photo that follows doesnt properly show how many capsules we have saved to send for recycling at the end of the season. We literally barely have room in the garage for Tassimo capsules.

This year we also introduced the Brioche Burger night.  This was to replace the pizza night as our local Pizza Bus closed down and we couldn’t find a replaement service. The burger night has been a bit of a hit – I think most people suspect a Burger van is going to turn up but it doesn’t – it’s me.  I practiced and practiced at the beginning of the season, inviting our kids’ mates around for burgers and trying to make sure I could cope with a big order.  The last thing I wanted was a massive order all of a sudden…. which is of course exactly what I got. The Pizza Bus was in business entil end April.  We hit May…. weekend bookings mainly and no orders for burgers.  Then May Half Term happened – suddenly full up with clients and 40 burger orders! I coped and it was a success and we will carry on with burgers for the forseeable future as everyone seems to enjoy it.  I was even told I was giving Five Guys a run for their money!  And one teenager told me it was better than McDonalds.  High praise indeed!

Galette and Crepe night continued – no big surprises there.  Fruits de Mer too and a new Salades Gourmandes night. This has gone down well with those who ordered it but wasnt exactly a raging success.  I think the word Salad puts people off.  I was particularly pleased with my children’s salad – but maybe this was style over substance. Lots of social media food porn posts but still not inundated with orders so we are now going to try going down the Moules Frites route.  I didn’t think I could cope with Moules Frites until I got some insider information on how they cook them in restaurants courtesy of my daughter’s boyfriend who had a summer job in a restaurant.  Now I feel confident I can do it and over the next few months I may see if I can introduce a couple of sauce options – not promising anything here though 😉

We obviously had the odd issue in 2023, as per normal.  This place does sometimes remind me of Faulty Towers. I think that makes me Sybil and Simon… Basil.  Although Simon is definitely less grumpy (at least with the guests), has a far better selection of Hawaiian shirts and makes a wicked cocktail – he has added to the list this year and I can personally recommend the Moscow Mule! Here are a list of the challengers we have overcome this year:

A broken door handle on a bathroom meaning a very nice and understanding gentleman was locked in for an hour!

A broken door handle on a washing machine meaning a very nice and understanding lady was at risk of having no underwear for an evening.

A fallen down tree in the carpark, which fortunately fell on an overhead power cable meaning it missed the Volvo XC90 and the Mercedez GLE that were parked underneath it. We also never lost power thanks to a friendly local farmer who got it down for us with his cherry picker.  We have since had the trees reduced in height just in case it happens again and thank our lucky stars it missed everyone and the very expensive cars.

A poop in the litte pool! How this doesnt happen more often I have no clue but that is only the second time in 16 years.  Pool closed, disinfected, and re-opened within 12 hours and I have been put off of sweetcorn for life!

Keys locked in the boot of Land Rover Discovery HSE.  I quickly learned how to do Grand Theft Auto!  After 2 breakdown mechanics couldnt figure it out – it was my idea which worked, doors were opened and the keys were freed.

Broken bed legs – now this happened to the same lady whose underwear got stuck in the washing machine.  I don’t think there is a link but she was in the bed.

Swimming pool inspections – we passed them but what a complete stress.  Never had them before, and due to new regulations we now have surprise visits by a Lab who test our pools and check our procedures. This in turn has meant us enforcing the ‘no board shorts’ policy and I have spent a long time reassuring very shy middle aged men that they need to ‘own’ the Speedo look!  I think we will sell some sort of acceptable long speedo shorts in the Epicerie next year.

One of good thing this year is that we have had no trips to Accident and Emergency.  No one left their passports behind and drove to Calais before they realised which happened last year – no arguments, apart from amonst kids, disputes, complaints, people arriving a week early (which has also happened) or other major issues!  All in all, pretty succesful and we live to open another year.

What’s on the agenda for 2024 I hear you ask….not sure yet but you can rest assured that we will continue to tread the line between professional hosts and Basil Fawtly with a smile on our faces.

Just to sign off – here are a few stats for you – we love a stat!  We have delivered:

328 Galettes

299 Crepes

30 Fruits de Mer platters

1088 Happy Hour drinks

158 of Oranginas

300 Kids squashes

322 Brioche Burgers

86 Welcome platters

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